Today's post is brought to you by the main character of Quanie Miller's new novel It Ain't Easy Being Jazzy.
I recently discovered that a certain fiction novel called It Ain’t Easy Being Jazzy was being written by author Quanie Miller. I was able to obtain a copy of the book (don’t ask; I have my ways) and I have to tell you; lies have been bequeathed about me. And I don’t take too kindly to bequeathing. First off, I have never in my life put peanut butter under anybody’s door handles for revenge (except for that one time), and I have never been involved in a shoot out (except for that other time), so the lies in this book are just that; fabrications. This has Grandma Dottie’s name written all over it (you will read about her in the novel; her depiction is actually pretty much spot on. Especially the part about her gold tooth gleaming in the light). She actually called and suggested that I do an interview with this Quanie Miller (okay she threatened my inheritance). Yes, me and my family are eccentric but this novel makes us look like we’ve flown the coop. I’m actually thinking of suing Quanie, that heifer, for defamation. And for the record; I chased that idiot Curtis with a skillet not because I wanted to, but because he totally deserved it. And after what he did to me he’s lucky I didn’t go upside his head. Now. Back to this stupid interview. (I should also say that I tried calling Quanie several times and her phone kept going to voicemail. She has one of those music ring tones with some Barry White wanna be singing about licking somebody up and down all night. Ain’t nobody got time for that.)
When I finally got through and explained the reason for my call she seemed surprised and agreed to the interview. The following is a pretty much verbatim transcript of our interview. I have left out the parts where Quanie yawns.
First off, how are you?
Fine. I’m actually surprised that you called.
Why is that?
Because I made you up.
I see... So, how is the weather in Charleston?
Let us cut to the chase. What made you write these lies about my family and me?
I beg your pardon.
Buy It Ain't Easy Being Jazzy at Amazon
I mean, how’d you come up with the idea for this novel?
Well, one day I sat down to write a novel about a nanny who discovers that the children’s new stepmother is a sinister woman with mystic powers. But when I starting writing something odd happened; this humorous voice took over and it was so funny that I was laughing out loud. I had to take a step back; did I want to make the nanny story humorous or take that voice and write another story? I decided to write another story. I’m glad I did because you and your family were a hoot to write!
So you wanna go on record and admit that you made all of this up?
Next, question, please.
What traits if any, do you share with me, your absolutely delightful main character, who, by the way, has never, as you depict in this novel, hurt her lower back from one too many booty pops?
I grew up around sassy and really funny women and that really kept me on my toes. And I don’t mind making fun of myself. Like when funny things happen to me I just sort of roll with it. Like in the book when you got banned from Macy’s—
Moving on! Did any of your inspiration for this book originate in your real life experiences besides spying on me and my family?
Yes! Jazzy (well, you) work for a software company in Silicon Valley and I actually did that one summer. In one of the scenes you’re requested by your boss to constantly wind a broken grandfather clock, and that’s something that I actually had to do. And I also had someone fall asleep mid sentence during a job interview (but I won't say who!).
How is your dutty wine?
It’s alright. Not as good as yours but I’m working on it.
Are there any specific authors whose writing styles or subject matter inspired your book?
When it comes to humor my main influences are my family (when I was growing up we used to sit on my grandmother’s porch for hours and tell funny stories), Dave Barry, and sitcoms like The Golden Girls, Living Single, and Girlfriends. Anything with funny women running amok!
Do you have another fiction novel in the works?
The phrase fiction novel is redundant.
Just answer the question, Ms. Fussy Pants.
Well, I have an upcoming novel called The New Mrs. Collins that will be published under the name Shaquana M. Miller. It is the story that I tried to write when I wrote It Ain’t Easy Being Jazzy.
How much is Grandma Dottie paying you to write this book?
I can’t disclose that.
I guess that about does it. Thanks for chatting with me today.
And take that damn licking music off your phone.
About the Author
Quanie Miller grew up in New Iberia, Louisiana. She fell in love with reading at an early age and spent most of her time at the Iberia Parish Library discovering new authors like R.L. Stine and Christopher Pike (she was often found walking back home from the library with a stack of books that went up to her chin). She holds degrees from Louisiana State University and San Jose State University. She has been the recipient of the James Phelan Literary Award, the Louis King Thore Scholarship, the BEA Student Scriptwriting Award, and the Vicki Hudson Emerging Writing Prize. She loves writing humorous stories about strong willed, sassy women who can’t keep themselves out of trouble. She lives in Charleston, South Carolina with her husband and is currently, as always, working on another novel. To find out more about Quanie and her works in progress visit quanietalkswriting.com.website * Twitter * Facebook * Goodreads
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