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January 4, 2013

D. Kai Wilson-Viola: Revolution - not resolution (guest post)

I've been making resolutions for as long as I can remember, but I've never quite managed to stick to them. Come close - people that know me are always using sentences like 'I don't know how you do it' when referring to my work, but I'm about to let you in on a secret.

I am a perfectionist. I push myself far too hard and for the last three years, I've been punishing myself. For what, I'm not sure, but I always set up goals that are too difficult for a normal. Perhaps it's because I don't like being bored. Perhaps it's because I spent the last four years (to 2011) in a degree, which meant every minute was filled and then I had a crazy amount of time that I had to find slots for. All I know is that this year, I had to change. I don't want to spend another day hurrying up and waiting - putting myself through a wringer and basically making it difficult to get on with my work. So I decided…


In everything I do. Absolutely everything.

I'm not going to promise to read more. I'm not going to promise to review more - I can't fit that in right now - what I need to do first is overhaul everything else first.

Revolution in exercise - I'm going to stop signing up for a gym and I'm going to use the kit we have here - that is, a Kinect and some games. It's a start, until I get back to being fit enough to road run, which I love.

Revolution in writing - no more sitting on my work. It's as easy as that.

Revolution in blogging - more, more, more.

Revolution in marketing - oh, this one is going to be fun - and this one is the huge surprise. It involves two books, and a whole new perspective on something that I consider my speciality though.

Revolution in my home - I work FROM home, but the house looks like no one cares. With two teens and two adults, I'm not entirely surprised, so part of the exercise revolution is cleaning the house. I mean *really* cleaning.

Revolution in my perspective - I'm not very open about the struggles we've dealt with this year. Multiple miscarriages, my youngest going to a specialist school, bills, and problems with the house like you wouldn't believe, hospital stays….the works. And Last year, I dwelled. I was always behind. I was *always* making excuses. My books got bumped to not only 'back burner' but back yard, next door. My stuff came last because I wanted to make sure I was serving everyone I worked with, but a heck of a lot of that was volunteering. And I love helping out, but it's just not practical to do full time. Not without my own books, and my own writing and reading coming first. It's selfish, but that's the biggest revolution. Being nice doesn't mean being everywhere and doing everything.

You might wonder, 'what's a writer doing talking in such vague terms? Why's she talking about intensely personal stuff?'

You might wonder what exercise and my house being a bit dusty and the washing pile coming up over my ears is important to anyone other than me. But the thing is, writers are dancing around trying to balance everything. And for those of us with families and houses will know exactly what I'm talking about. Revolution is a bit difficult though when you're 34, trying for a baby (and failing - I blog about that, when I'm not bawling my eyes out). But I need to do this, because I'm going to destroy myself otherwise.

The irony of this? I don't have a book out under my own name. I do lots of work for other writers, but I've not even added 'promoting my debut novel' into the mix. Revolution - that happens this year too, and I bet my life will change.

And then I thought - why isn't everyone else doing revolutions rather than resolutions? Causing an uprising in their world, big or small? Because there's really nothing stopping you.

About the Author:

Kai really is 34 (though she often feels 15), trying for a baby, and hoping this year will be an improvement on 2012. When not pressing the big detonation button on everything in her life, she can be found blogging at, and starting two new blogs at (where she talks infertility and knitting baby stuff) and, where I go all geeky about language.

Her first book will be out soon, and is called Glass Block. That's a whole other (54 book) story in itself.
The views, beliefs, and opinions expressed by guest post authors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views, beliefs, or opinions of Girl Who Reads.
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  1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think it's easier to stick to resolutions when you get older and you realize that life is short. In any case, good luck with your goals and plans, and remember, we have but one short life and then it's gone. One hundred years from now - all new people.

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